December 30, 2010

Going to be riding in no time...

Ha! What a big lie! So yesterday I went to my foot appointment with Dr. K. All the way down I was doing my singing of "Partial weight bearing OHHH YEAH!", it was pretty hilarious and I was super excited.

I got to the office and went in and talked with S, the secretary. She is so awesome and always bubbly and I always enjoy talking to her. It wasn't long before I was in the waiting room.

Dr. K took off my dressings and I was so suprised! NO SWELLING, like at all. The incesion was a blackish color but I'm sure thats just dried up blood. Dr. K got talking and she wanted to take the screw out 6 months from now, and this is the only time I ever said "No" to Dr. K. I told her that it would have to be the summer after because I have big plans this summer, like working at a rescue, and I can't do it on cructhes and that I sacrificed my winter for this surgery, I'm not sacrificing my summer also. Dr K looked at me and was kind of shaken, I have NEVER been that, I won't say nasty because I wasn't, but for lack of a better word, nasty to her. She said that I would be up in no time and only be on crutches for a day or so. This I was more okay with.

Next she took an x-ray of my foot, this is where I would tell if I would be partial weight bearing. The x-ray was developed and she got talking and said I could now get my foot wet, which I was happy about, and thought that meant I could be walking that day...but then she said "I'll see you in 2-3 weeks, but stay no weight bearing until then" I went silent and my mom looked at me, knowing that wasn't the answer I wanted to hear. The whole point of having my surgery during the winter was so that I wouldn't have to be on crutches during school, I HATE IT, but my next appointment is the Friday after school starts, which makes this whole surgery seem like a waste of time, which it wasn't but it feels that way.

The whole hour and a half drive home I was silent and just staring out the window on the brink of tears. I finished my "The Power to Win" book, which made my mood even more depressing. It's going to be so long until I can be riding again.

Stupid feet.

December 27, 2010

Snow snow snow

You've always heard of "Be careful for what you wish for" right? Well today is my day, we have gotten at least a foot of snow and it's not suppose to stop snowing until 2AM tomorrow morning. I love snow, but this is just over whelming, since I'm obviously of no help because of my foot. My mom got stuck in the drive way and my Grandfather and my older sister and her boyfriend hopped right up to go and help and I was like "umm yeah I'll stay here" it really sucks.

BUT, I do have some good news. This Wednesday, the 29th, I am going for my doctors appointment and I am hoping that she will say that I can start with partial weight bearing! I am going to be back riding in no time. I have set a list of goals that I wish to accomplish that I am going to talk to M. about when I go back to riding.

1. Get back into the "swing" of things
2. Ride at least once a week
3. Talk to M. about cantering and ask what I can do to prepare.
4. Set up a training "sheet" to go by to make sure I stay on track.

Also I hope everyone had great holiday, I know I certainly did. The whole family was together and we had our traditional Christmas breakfast of french toast and sausage and bacon.

I have to say one of my best gifts was a book that my Grandmother bought me! The Power to Win: Achieving Peak Performance with Hypnosis and NLP I have read close to 100 pages and even though there are some pages that were dry, its very interesting and I can't wait to start trying some of it out.

Thanks for reading everyone :)

December 24, 2010

Happy Holidays!

First off, before I forget, I want to wish everyone Happy Holidays and to being safe and with your family. Personally I am super excited for tomorrow because the family tradition is that my grandparents come over to open presents and then we have a french toast breakfast! This year will be special because my older sister's boyfriend will be joining us. My older sister moved in with her boyfriend and now live about an hour away, so my mom and I picked them up this morning and they are going to spend the night and spend Christmas morning with us.

I know the Holidays are suppose to be filled with joy and family, and I have all of that and so much more, but I can never help but think about the vetrans overseas fighting every day, and not getting a chance to see their families on Christmas morning, and watch their kids ripping open gifts and seeing those smiles of utter surpirse on their faces. This year I heard a very touching song, it has been around for years but I guess this is the first year that I actually listen to the lyrics, and it touched me immensely. The song is called Camouflage and Christmas Lights I realize everyone is super busy with the holidays, and I am in no way a very religious person, but it would be nice if you could just take a moment to send a prayer to those who don't get a chance to see their families this holiday season, pray for them to come home soon and safely.

Now, horse news! I went to the horse barn yesterday and decorated Ranger's stall!

Ranger's door. He has, red tinsel with green balls, two little stockings, green bow, and a reindeer.

Ranger's "window", silver beads with bells, and a snowman headband.

See, the way I am, I am a worry wart when it comes to horses, ask my friends Erin and Kirstin they will tell you! So, to make sure that Ranger didn't think the tinsel and beads were snacks for him, I hung them up as high as I could get while safely one footed on a mounting block, yes talent, and then I used bailing twine, AND resourceful, to tie all loose ends to in front of some wood, so the best he could do is chew on the bailing twine. Ranger isn't known for being chewy on inanimate objects, but I just wanted to make sure.

As time goes on I'm missing riding more and more, but I'm going to drive M. nuts with me asking if I can ride as much as I can! I'll be riding soon enough, just time and patience.

Happy Holidays everyone and be safe!

Thanks for reading.

December 20, 2010

Blast From the Past

Today was a very enjoyable day. My Grandparents had to go down to Rockland (which is by the coast) to attend a 1 hour seminar about, well not sure exactly what they are called but "time shares" comes close to what it was about. We went to Rockland and met with this very annoying guy but I guess all sales men have to be.

But it wasn't that part that made my day super enjoyable...

After that we went to go see my Grandmother's sister, who I call Aunt Dot. My Grandmother has 11 brothers and sisters and I have heard many stories and in fact did a whole biography on my Grandmother's life for a history class and I have often found myself wishing I grew up being one of my Grandmother's sisters. I believe that time era was a great time to live, even though people were poor and you had to work for every cent you made, but that is the part that I enjoy so much.

After what seemed FOREVER with the sales man we finally got to Aunt Dot's house and my Aunt Shannon was there. Aunt Shannon is my Grandmother's niece. We all sat down and started talking and the main topic was stories of the past and how my Grandmother and her family was like when she was growing up, its always very interesting to listen to this.

Next we went to Aunt Madaline's house, another sister of my Grandmother's. Aunt Madaline is the oldest child of them all. We visited her and, again, talked about the past.

I must be crazy wishing I grew up with my Grandmother but it's true! This blast from the past today was very refreshing from my normal routine.

Tomorrow I'm going to watch Maggie riding so I will be able to see Ranger again!

Thanks for reading.

December 19, 2010

Time to be proactive.

I feel that I owe my readers a little explanation for my past very depressing posts.

This, what I call a "depression phase", happens every time I have had surgery on my feet. I go a day or two and can't stop boo-hooing about how awful I feel and how much life sucks, and I usually find something to get my mind busy and it goes away.

Last night I found a way to do that. One of my worries about this surgery was that I was going to get out of my riding shape that took me so long to develop. I am limited to what I can do but I decided to be proactive. I looked up online for some exercises that I could still do on crutches and came up with two that I am going to do daily. One is good old sit ups. I did 30 very slow sit-ups last night and couldn't do anymore. I wasn't sure weather to feel proud or sad haha. Next I did ten reps of leg lifts, keeping each leg in the air for 5 seconds. My right foot (the one I had my operation on) had my ice boot on, so that added maybe around 3 pounds, which in my mind is a bonus.

I did those exercises and felt immediately better. I also went to the alpaca farm today and Max is doing great! His hind end is still curved in, but I have seen him out in the pastures a few times and even saw him run a yard or so. I went up to Max who was eating grain and gave him my usual "maxy-max!" greeting and he looked up and gave me kisses and nibbled on my nose, a more recent greeting of his, and my heart just warmed right up.

Next we finished up our Christmas shopping and my Grandmother bought me two books in a series about a vet. I was tempted to buy a book about horse bits and equine veterinarians but I decided to wait until after Christmas.

So my wish list so far for AFTER Christmas?
1. Some horse books
2. Some vet books
3. Point and Shoot camera

Thanks for reading!

December 18, 2010

What bond?

I got to see Ranger today. I asked my sister Tia when she got home if she could bring me to the barn to see Ranger. At first she said no, which honestly, ticked me off. I was so mad. She called back saying she would take me so I got super excited and called M (barn owner) just to make sure that we could go. She was in the barn but her Mom said she didn't see why we couldn't.

Driving to the barn was SO SLOW it seemed 10 times longer than it would usually take. We finally got to the barn and I jumped out and had to remind myself to go slow on the icy drive way.

Into the barn I went and haven't I missed that smell! The first comment I got when I went into the barn was "HEY CRIP!" go figure huh! We talked a little bit and Tia said "Are you ever going to see your man?!" So I went and turned on the lights.

I was already for one of those experiences I keep reading on the other blogs I read about.

My foolish expectation was that Ranger would look up when I said his name, perk his ears, sniff my hand, and I'd open the door and he'd walk right over and let me pat him all over...

Well from past experiences I know that expectations only lead you to getting hurt.

Here is what really happened:

I walked up to Ranger's stall and he was quietly munching on his dinner hay. I was 3 feet away from his door and said his name, he didn't look up, got to his door and said his name again, he still didn't look up, I walked over to his viewing window and said his name again and he finally looked up. His ears were perked, I stuck my hand through the bars and he sniffed it....and then went back to eating his hay as if I've been there every day. My heart sadly to say dropped. I couldn't get him to bring his head back up again.

It was only Tia and I in the barn so I opened his door and was going to slowly walk up to him and pat him. Yeah I was on crutches but he saw me come in looked at me and went back to eating and I was going to go super slow...but then Tia told me that M said I couldn't go in his stall... because I was on crutches.

Let me tell you I was more sad when I left than I was yesterday. I started questioning this "bond" everyone thought that him and I had. Geeze I didn't even get to pat him...

I hate these crutches, I hate my feet, I hate these surgeries, but the worst part is that no matter how loudly I scream how much I hate the situation I am in, nothing is going to change it.

Despite what I may write about...I wouldn't change my life for anything. I have the best family in the world and everything I could possibly ask for, its just...:sigh: this sucks.

Little more chipper.

So unlike yesterday, I am in a decent mood today.

I woke up at first today thinking "Oh great another boring day as Gimpy", almost forgetting about what I was going to do today.

No I'm not going to see Ranger, well maybe tonight, but no I am going to see my Grandfather's Aunt! She is 92 years old and living in a nursing home because she has Alzheimer. Her home is having a Chirstmas party that I was invited too and I jumped at the opportunity to get out of the house.

It makes me laugh because since my surgery, 8 days ago, I have yet to wear anything but sweat pants and PJs because well, thats the only thing that fits comfortably over my walking cast. Thinking about this brought back a memory of my Aunt L. I was visiting her at the other home she was at and she has a room mate who was more deaf than a wall, it was cute in a way. Well her room mate would always go to breakfast in her night gown and one day while I was visiting, the lady came back and my Aunt L. freaked out on her. She was saying "How can you go out looking like that? In your night gown?? Your suppose to get dressed!" My Aunt L. grew up being very particular and lady like so going out in a night gown NEVER happened. Well this lady goes "What?" and my Aunt L. says "Put your hearing aids in you old bat!"

Now set aside your first impressions of this lady, she is usually really sweet and nice! I had never seen this side of her before, and I was almost afraid that my Aunt L would start throwing punches. It was very funny!

Well I'm off to the Christmas party, and more than likely explain 100 times what happened to my foot. I'm thinking about coming up with another story saying I fell down stairs instead of saying I had surgery and why blah blah blah. It gets old after a while. Either that or I'm going to print off 1000 typed pages of what happened and just pass them out as people ask me.

Thanks for reading!

December 17, 2010

Just because I can...

Just because I can, I am going to post a SECOND post in the same day.

I ended up being super bored, whats new right?, so I started reading some horse blogs that I'm following and Freaking A I should know better! Wish I could say thats the end of my rant but its far from it!

I miss the barn! I stopped working there because
A. School was getting busy
B. My work was starting to get super busy

It seemed that as soon as I quit my barn job everything quited down. I know it was something I had to do but I've regretted doing it ever since! I miss having the horses listen to all my complaints and rants and problems and just listening quietly and twitching their ears which made it seem like they are listening.

I miss the being able to ride all the time. I was able to ride because I was already THERE and now when I ask, well before my surgery, my mom if I can go ride it was always a groan and it felt like my old boss didn't seem as eager as she use to be to let me ride, but that could just be my perception.

Then I start reading blogs and start wishing how I could be riding and how I could at least CANTER while so many people are off doing cross country, endurance, and eventing shows <.< I'm not saying they shouldn't that is GREAT for them, its just on the outside looking in I guess.

I miss Ranger a TON :( I was looking through some photos on my camera and I found two pictures of Ranger that I failed to upload to Facebook. Ranger, is my main theme haha. Can't believe how attached I am to that horse its ridiculous. What happens when he moves back home to New Hampshire, what happens when I go to Minnesota for college?

I might have an opertunity to work for a Mustang Rescue in Maine this summer. I am still talking to the owner and want to plan a visit, oh and still have to talk to my mom. I won't get riding lessons, but I'm going to be able to learn how to train a horse, and learn the aspects of running a rescue, on top of mucking stalls! Love doing the down right and dirty work, because well, I'm weird like that!

Okay sorry for the ranting but thanks for reading!

Enjoying Winter From the Inside

Hands down, my favorite season is winter, but instead of being outside enjoying the cold and snow, I'm inside enjoying the pain (that is getting better) of my foot that was operated on last Friday.

Since I don't have any recent "horsey" experiences to share with the readers, I guess I'll just share how my week has gone.

December 10th: Surgery day. For those who aren't quiet caught up about what was happening I'll share a quick summary. I have really high arches in my feet, which in turn I would keep spraining my ankles at least once a year. I saw a Doctor who put me in inserts that go into my shoes and for a few years that worked until I started spraining my ankles again. I saw another Doctors, because my last one moved to TEXAS, and she said that we should do surgery. Long story short, it has taken four tries on my right foot and on try on my left foot to get things right. I had three on my right foot then it seemed fine, but once we fixed the left foot I had a noticeably limp that would effect my right hip, so it was back to the right foot (which was this surgery). The plan was to, like my left foot, break a bone, take a small piece out and put a screw in. So I went to Scarborough for my surgery. Let me tell you that hospital is NICE! I have been there once before for another surgery and come to find out I had the same nurse that I had two years ago. She was a riot and made the visit, if possible, more enjoyable. So I went into surgery and came back. I guess there was a complication in the surgery, don't worry all my phalanges are still attached. When putting a screw into a bone, there is a wire that goes in with the screw to help guide the screw, and after the screw is in the wire should easily be pulled out. Well according to Dr K., the wire broke. She tried getting the wire out but decided it would cause more damage to dig for it than to leave it in.

Now in all of my past surgeries, when I am waking up I am tell people to stop talking to me and to let me sleep. Wasn't this time different! I am not sure what they gave me but it made me act way to funny. First off when I woke up, I decided that I wanted to get home as fast as I could, no sleeping for hours then going  home. If anyone has been under anethesia, you know how hard it is to stay awake after a four hour operation. So, in order to keep myself awake I was counting the ceiling tiles in my room, there was 28. My Mom was looking at me so weird once I started staring at the computer monitors and such and says "Stasha...what are you doing?" in reply I said and smiled "If I can identify things they will let me go home!" I guess my mom bursted out laughing. Next a nurse came in and asked me if I wanted toast and something to drink, I said yes please and got toast with jam and some apple juice. I was STARVING! I am the kind of person that needs breakfast in order to function. Mom said I ate each half a piece of toast in two bites. As I was drinking my apple juice I could see across the hall a nurse getting some coffee. I asked my Mom if I could have some coffee, it would help me wake up faster of course. My mom said no. I looked at her and said "He can have coffee! Why can't I have coffee?" Again I have no idea what kind of drugs they gave me! Again, another laughing session from my Mom and Grandmother. Needless to say I ended up being able to go home in record time! Must have been all that counting :)

December 12th: We had a family Chirstmas party that I actually slept though most of it =D

Now: This week has been pretty low key. I miss the horses a ton but I know the more I rest up the sooner I will recover and be able to ride again.

Update of K. as mentioned before in the post K. Accident a girl my mom worked with got in an accident that is preventing her from working, thus she cannot pay for groceries and to support her family. My mom and I have been going nuts asking people for food donations and such. I guess my mom got home last night and my super good friend, who I call "Pops", and his family dropped off at least 10 grocery bags full of food!!!! My mom called him up and said there is much more to come. I wanted to cry I was so happy! This man is so selfless and his family is amazing! As far as K goes, she is getting better and according to my mom can speak full sentences but she stutters a lot, but is still unable to work. I want to say a huge THANK YOU to Pops he went above and beyond what we could have imagined!! What a great man!

What to really read some "horsey" stuff? Go check out these blogs!

Now THATS a Trot  My friend Erin's blog (an Eventer with two amazing horses!)

A Collection of Madcap and Escapades A friend of Erin's, her name is Dom. She does amazing photography and owns a horse name Ozzie, also another Endurance (edited, I first said Eventer, sorry Dom!). 

I read those two blogs and get jealous every time! They are amazing writers and have some amazing stories to tell.

Last but not least a blog I have been recently following:

Green 'n Green = Black 'n Blue This is a blog about a woman and her OTTB mare who was on the brink of being put down but had a miracle recovery. Talk about being thankful!

Thanks for reading!

December 9, 2010

Not horse related but just, if not more important.

This post today is not dedicated to me, or even about horses. Tonight I want to tell you about a lady that my mom works with, I will refer to her as K. who is a remarkable woman who has had her world shattered in order to to save another's life.

I am not aware of all the details but my mom has been telling me parts of K's battle.

K. works in a doctors complex and my mom has, as a PA, had the honor of working with K. and I have heard many great stories about this woman who I have yet to meet.

Sometime last week, my mom came home in an off mood and as I usually do I asked her how her day was and she started with her story.

She told me about a car accident that K. had the previous day. As K. was driving home from work, she saw that a truck with a man and a dog in it, was sliding on the slippery Maine roads, and could not seem to avoid K.'s lane. In an effort to avoid a head on collision that would certainly end in injuries to all parties, K. swerved off the road and into a ditch. After the ditch, K's car hit a tree, but this is not the worse part of the event. K's airbags did not deploy after hitting the tree. This car is not used and K has been the only owner of this car. Due to the air bag's not deploying K suffered a major concussion that sent her to the hospital. At first the doctors sent her home with the diagnosis of a concussion and told her to take it easy for a while.

A while after this, K. began to realize that she couldn't finish sentences, and she couldn't find the words to every day objects. Going back to the doctor's, K found the concussion was worse than predicted. The doctors say she is going to have to be off of work for a while in order for the inflammation in her brain to subside, and they are hopping after some time her speech will come back.

Not only is K. out of a job, but she also has two kids. A 13 year old daughter and a 15 year old son, three dogs, and a devoted husband. The husband works, but it is not nearly enough to support all of their children and all the necessities.

K and her family are finding that they do not have enough money to buy food and they are unable to pay for their insurance for K. My mom saw K today and as she described their discussion, I was brought into tears about how this woman is telling people "I'm not stupid, I just can't think of the word".

We are doing as much as we can to help this family!

So far we have a plan of asking our big grocery stores to donate food for the family and dogs and asking some oil companies for a discount or free oil for their house that they are renting to own.

Ideally I would LOVE to get people to donate what they can for this family, but another thing I would love even more is some ideas of what we can do to for this family!
So far we are going to be talking to
Hannaford, Walmart, Dominos (maybe they can make and deliver a pizza for the family for dinner a night), some local oil companies, and the hospital that K worked for.

If anyone has more ideas please post a comment here or send me an e mail to

Even letters ask for her to get better would be greatly appreciated so I could deliver them to her.

Thank you for reading.

December 8, 2010

Stressed, and two days to go.

I got to ride only one time this week. I wanted to be able to ride at least twice, once on Monday and once today, but today didn't happen with my psychology paper(s) going on.

So far I have managed to complete my 15 page psychology final, 2 page biology paper, and take all my finals. The only thing left to do is to type my conclusion on my psychology term paper and I will be done. Thank goodness because I can feel the stress getting to me.

As I mentioned, I rode on Monday. I got to ride Ranger which was great because I know I won't be seeing him for at least a week or so.

I got to the barn just after five. Want to know how determined I was to ride? It snowed and was super slippery on the roads on Monday, our first snow fall yay!, but goign to the barn was a very slow process and I found myself sliding on the road twice, BUT I was determined to ride. I also had my papers at home waiting for me to finish them.

Needless to say my mom was not impressed that I went riding when my papers were not done, but what can I say, I need to ride.

So, where was I? Oh yes, I got to the barn and survived the ride there. I helped M. bring in the horses. We got all the horses in and I went to go get Ranger and I saw that he was an iceicle! M. reminded me that I needed to get all the ice/snow/excess water off of him before we could ride. How long did it take me to accomplish this? Close to an hour! To get him defrosted and tacked up.

M. had mentioned in my lesson that Saturday before that Ranger had been Mr. Speed Demond and actually caused a girl to fall off of him. I was sort of suprised to hear this, but I know how horses can be and even the most calm and gentle ones have their off days. M. told me to be extra careful and not to let him be Mr. Speedy.

Well needless to say, I got on him and he was a very good boy! We did some extra warming up and stretching espically since it was roughly 20 degrees out. After our warm up I worked on trotting and asking him to go from trot to walk without using much rein and we did very good! He would even hault from a walk without me using any rein at all.

There was a couple times where he would get into his speedy modes, but he would always slow down to a nice little trot when I whispered "slow".

And like the past few times that I have been riding, I made myself do some no stirrup work at the walk and trot. My balance was a little off at first but it did get better and after a while I went back to the stirrups and did some more trotting. At the end I took some time to really cool him off. He didn't need a cooler because I never work him hard enough to sweat, maybe thats why he likes me so much! xD

My surgery is in 2 days and last night I didn't sleep well at ALL. I think it is because of the surgery and my stress.

Mom's going to help me finish up this paper! Hopefully I'll finish this post later tonight :)

Thanks for reading!

December 1, 2010

Nose to the Grind

So my family has always told me that when I start college I am going to have my nose to the grind a LOT if I wanted to get into pharmacy school. Well now I want to go to vet school but I am sure it still applies. And let me tell you my nose has been to the grind for the past week and my head is starting to feel the strain.

My surgery countdown is 9 days away and right now it doesn't feel real. I think about it and thing "egh" what ever. I'm sure when the count down is 2 or 3 days away it will sink in.

I haven't been riding nearly as much as I want to this past week and I have to reschedule my lesson that I have this Saturday for an earlier date, which is good in a way!

Today my goal was to type and finish my 10 page final for psychology. Well it looks like I'm going to do the other option of doing 3 essays five pages each instead of 5 essays at 2 pages each, what is wrong with me?! But my psychology term paper is pretty much one of the questions for my final, so I figure I can just copy and paste a few sections from that and call it good, and I started working on question 2 and found that I could easily type five pages for that so I figured why not just do one more.

So if I can past that final in I will feel some stress relief. I talked to my Chemistry teacher and asked him if I could take the final Thursday (day before my surgery) while they review for the final, because if not I'm going to have to take it after my lab at 5 and I would really prefer not to be in school until 7PM. I thought he was a good deal but he didn't like the idea for some reason, so I'm hoping he is going to give me what he thinks the plan should be tomorrow.

I also found out that on top of my biology final I also have a biology LAB final! *head desk* I mean REALLY when am I going to have time to take THAT?

So since I was tired of typing my final for psychology I decided to blog! So productive huh?

So I failed epically at the 30 day challenge and I failed at meeting the 50K word challenge too, oh well I gave it a super good shot! Maybe next year when my life is more interesting ^.^

On a horsey business side! I got TWO replies from possible worker student positions. YAY!
One person from NH told me that they do not have any housing available, so I am considering to count that one out, but I asked her if there was any way to arrange housing near by, I doubt it but worth a shot.

The second reply was from a farm in Mass. asking for me to contact them in May because it is too early for them to commit to a summer working student at this point in time.

None of these replies were "yes" but I was still ecstatic either way and that I actually got replies.

Back to typing my final I guess.

Thanks for reading!

November 28, 2010

Murphey's Law

"What can go wrong WILL go wrong"

This has been my life today, well for the night anyways!

Lets start with that my surgery date is doomingly getting closer and closer, it is now 12 days away, arg!

So before my surgery I have a 'to do' list which consists of:

1. Go riding as OFTEN as I can
2. Finish my 12 page psychology paper that should be due on December 15th, but since my surgery is December 10th, I have to pass it in on December 9th.
3. Study, a LITTLE, for my Biology and Chemistry finals. As far as I know my Biology final is optional (YAY!) and would be online and open notes if I decided to take it, and my Chemistry final I must take, but it is also open notes. Oh and guess what? I have to do those both on December 9th also!! My Chemistry final will be the funny one because that Thursday not only do I have a class, but a lab after that ends at 5PM! I am going to ask my professor if I can, instead of sitting in on the review, take the final.
4. Finish my Psychology final. YES I have a 12 page term paper AND a 10 page final for the same class! The final is just take home though and I just pretty much just type what the book says and cite the source. Easy as pie.
5. Finish my final speech for communications class (on horse back riding during the winter, YAY!)

I wish that list could be in the priority order, but its not :( 2-5 are my first priorities and number 1 comes in pretty much dead last.

SO back to why I named this Murphey's Law. Well that 12 page psychology paper that I just mentioned, well I finally got my crap in order and started typing it. I got into two sentances and decided I needed to turn my desk lamp on, but I had to plug it in into the power strip I have. I went to go plug it in and as I did that my computer screen shut off!! I tried turning it back on and no luck. I unplugged the power strip, plugged it back in, still nada. Unplugged my screen from both ends and replugged them in and into different power sockets, STILL no screen action. I mean REALLY? Just when I get motivated to do this paper my screen decides to DIE for no reason at all. I called my computer tech guy who is a friend of the family and said he should get me a new screen in the next day or so. Until then I'm stuck using my Mom's computer, which she doesn't mind at all.

So after I got on my Mom's computer I pretty much was in no mood to do my psych paper so I decided to start typing my speech to send to my group partner so he can start to put the group power point together. I went to go find the speech that I had already written out and can't find it! I flipped my room over, twice, looked in my car three times and no luck. I'll probably find it in the next day or so now that I typed it from memory and sent it to my group partner.

SO what have I accomplished? Well the speech is all typed and sent off and now I guess I am just going to hand write my psychology paper for now since facebook, my blog, and everything else seems to be distracting me from it. :sigh: Got to love life!

November 26, 2010

Feeling like myself again and goals.

Today was one of the best days this month. I woke up this morning and found the reason of why I love Maine so much, snow! I love winter in Maine and everything about it, besides the wind that I can live without.

I ended up taking my cat to the vet, for the second time this month. She has a heart murmmer and she had to get some x-rays of her heart. The vet said she doesn't see anything to worry about and that I should just monitor her breathing rates. Jasmine is 11 years and 2 months old and the vet says heart murmers are not uncommon for cats, but can lead to congestive heart failure eventually, but as of today my kitty is as healthy as can be and still a bed potato.

My Grandmother went to the alpaca farm and said Max was kind of slow going, but I'm sure that is because of the storm we got today. He had some great days where he was even out to pasture, but I know that means worse days are to come.

I also went out to lunch with my Mom and Grandmother today, we went to Pizza Hut. Today I was feeling, different. I'm not sure if it was a good different or bad different but it was different. I think it was because of the snow and it was bringing on a feeling of a relationship I had last year during the winter but I'm can't quiet put my finger on it.

After that I came home, called up my instructor and asked if I could go for a ride, and I did! I rode for about an hour and didn't I need it! I went to the barn and Ranger was standing by the left side of the fence with his buddy Rosie (a white pony). I walked up to him and he acted like he was going to walk away but I said "Hey Ranger!" and he stopped and looked at me and let me walk up to him with no fuss. Didn't I miss that boy!!

We got warmed up and I worked on working on our energetic walks. He tends to be lazy while warming up. Then Tia and I did some leap frog, which is like human leap frog instead you don't jump over the other horse, even though that would be SO COOL!, but instead you just pass the horse(s) in front of you while staying at the same gait. This is one exercise we worked for drill team. Tia and I also did some drill maneuvers which consisted of walking/trotting up the middle of the arena, getting to the end and one of us turning left and the other right, walking or trotting up the long side wall, meeting in the middle again, and repeating. It's very fun, at least for me.

While riding Ranger I just got back some of that calmness I was missing for a while. I was starting to get antsy about my surgery but when I'm riding Ranger that all goes away and it's just him and I. Since I haven't ridden for the past two weeks I wanted to make sure that my balance was still in order, so I picked up my stirrups and walked around the arena and it seemed fine. I asked him to trot and I found that my balance was still as good as ever.

When I sit the trot, Ranger tends to get racey while going on the long side of the arena, mostly because my instructor only has beginners canter the long side and trot the short side, so when I sit Ranger goes into automatic mode and thinks I'm going to ask for a canter and just goes faster and faster without breaking the trot. Before this wouldn't necessarily scare me, but I would make him slow down or at least start posting again, but I was able to ride through his racey speed while sitting and no stirrups. I was very proud of myself.

My friend gave me some advice last night and said that I should blog about my working student dream and what I want to do in college.

For the past month or so I have been looking unstopping for a working student position in the New England area. I want to bad to work with horses 24/7 for a summer and learn as much as I can. But I have heard from other people in a forum that my expectations are realistic. What I was looking for was a place to stay, a small allowance, and experience. I am not an advanced rider in ANY aspect of the horse world, in fact I can't even canter yet, but my hope was that I could go and come back and be able to canter Ranger. So far so luck and I am always getting opposite answers from everyone. My friends tell me that this is a possible job if I look hard enough, and other people in forums tell me that a working student isn't for me because I'm not advanced enough. What ever the truth is, I am having NO LUCK. No one is sending e mails back. I send my cover letter and a resume and no one even e mails be back saying "No". So if this doesn't pan out I talked to the alpaca vet and asked him if I could work for him this summer if this doesn't work and he said he would be glad to have me on as a staff, which brings me to my college part.

I want to go to college to be a vet! I am currently looking at two or three colleges that either offer the vet program or a pre-vet program. I am super excited about this because I love working outdoors and I love animals.

Today was a great day for me and I am finally feeling like myself again, thank God for horses.

November 25, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving, for most of us.

Well I have realized that this 30 day challenge has come to a griding halt pretty quickly. I'm not sure if it was my busy schedule, me being lazy, or a combination of both.

Before I get into details I did want to share a link that my friend provided me. She said that all though we should all be very happy today, there are people out there that may not be so happy.

I have read some of this ladies post and I tell you my heart aches for her and her horse. I would love everyone to at least read her latest post about her amazing horse Denali.

So what am I thankful for?
My family: They are always there for me and always will be they are what keeps me on this earth.
My friends: Although I don't have many TRUE friends the ones that I do have hold a great place in my heart.
The alpacas, dogs, cats, and horses in my life.
The house I live in, the COUNTRY I live in.

So much to be thankful for and it is amazing how on this day is when I realize how blessed I am.

I haven't seen Ranger for the past two weeks, and my surgery is drawing more and more near. Exactly 2 weeks away and I'm dreading it with every day. I can't say I was excited about my last 4 surgeries, but I shrugged them off and just mentally said "what every", but this time is different for some reason. I was just really getting back into the swing of riding and improving and now I'm going to be set back again.

On top of the surgery I realize I'm going to be pretty much in the house the whole time and I won't be able to see Ranger until I'm recovered. Want to know my worse fear? And it's so silly but it is there. I'm afraid someone else is going to gain a bond like with what I have with Ranger. I already get so jealous when people canter on him and all I can do is watch. I miss seeing him almost every day and giving him hugs and grooming him.

Here's a Max update:

He has had a very good few days, but I know the longer he has good days, the longer and worse will be his bad days. My Aunt and Uncle are still contemplating weather to put him down or not and I just hope the decision isn't made when he can no longer get up.

I have declared my 30DC a fail try but a worth while one! I am really going to try to blog more often, but I find that my posts are no where near as interesting as the ones that I read, more because I'm not an experienced enough rider to have anything interesting to really say.
Oh well I guess I'll just have to bore my readers until then!

November 16, 2010

Day 15-Bible verse

I'm sitting here and dreading this post. I am in no way shape or form a religious person, and I have NO idea what my favorite verse would be. Growing up, my mom didn't go to church so naturally I didn't. My Dad never started going to church until he married his wife, and she and her family were very religious. When I was at my Dad's house, we were given the option to go to church or not. Great huh? No not so much. If we stayed home from church we had to clean the whole house, which to be honest, never got cleaned unless one of my sisters and I stayed away from church to clean it. So it was either go to church and fall asleep and be bored out of my silly young mind, or clean a house. Most of the time I opted to stay at the house and clean. I couldn't stand listening to someone tell me what to believe in and about this "being" that is there but there is no actual proof.

Don't get me wrong, I believe there is a greater power out there, but I'm very skeptical and I have critical thinking skills and if there isn't solid proof to back up a theory, I have a hard time believing it.

So please forgive me for being very elusive with this verse. I just picked it because it sounded cool.

Jeremiah 8:16 The snorting of his horses was heard from Dan: the whole land trembled at the sound of the neighing of his strong ones; for they are come, and have devoured the land, and all that is in it; the city, and those that dwell therein.

Again, I apologize!

Day 14-A picture you love

I really have to find pictures I love that are non-horse related, HA as if that is going to happen. But big surprise the picture is of Ranger. I was actually super impressed with this photo because of the lighting behind him, it just makes him GLOW! I think if the cross ties were not there it would have been perfect. It took me numerous times to get this picture and I actually needed someone to walk by and just flail up her arms and go "HEY RANGER!" because he just wasn't going to put his ears up for me.
This is another picture that I love so much, not only because it looks pretty cool in my eyes, but it summarizes the last nine years of my life. Yes, I have only been riding horses for just over a year, but I was apart of the Young Marines for nine amazing years. The boots on the left are my old young marine boots, that my Commander also let me keep!  I think one day I am really going to get those boots shining and take another picture. Those past nine years were some of the best years of my life and I am so glad I was able to be apart of that program, and hopefully touch the lives of some kids.
This isn't a very cool picture but I love it anyways! This is my room! Believe it or not it is not always messy like this and I try to keep it clean, but hey I'm a teenager what do you expect?

November 15, 2010

Day 13-Goals

Oh I can and WILL write a ton about this!

I am a very goal orientated person. If I don't have goals I can and will turn into a large lump of nothing that can't and won't get off her bum. I literally have to set up goals for my day and even if I do THAT sometimes I only get a few goals accomplished, but hey I can't do everything!

Goal 1: To finish this 30 day challenge! I actually want to catch up to my late starting and get up to post number 15 either tonight, or 16 tomorrow night. This 30 day challenge is very fun, but I realize there is no way I can reach the 50K word goal, but I'm okay with that there is always next year, or heck there is always another MONTH that I could decide to do this!

Goal 2: To be a worker student for the summer. I love riding and horses, but I really want to extend my horizons onto other opportunities that just do not exist in Maine. I realize student workers might not make a lot of money, but I am a firm believer that if you love what you do, you will never work a day in your life. I am currently just looking for a summer position and I just got my resume done today with a lot of help from my Mom, Kirstin, and Erin!

Goal 3: Kind of a life goal. One day I want to own alpacas and a few horses and also show jump, all on top of being a VET! I realize all of this might not happen unless someone invents at least two more hours in each day, but I could get the majority of that happening. As long as I get the vet goal down I think I will be satisfied enough.

Goal 4: To one day have a family. NO NO I am in no rush!!! I like my life as it is right now and I like the no stress of a boyfriend, but one day I would like a family.

Goal 5: To stay the independent woman I am! I truly do not want to dependent on a man, or anyone for that fact. It really makes me mad when a person says "I NEED YOU!" and they can't seem to function without a person. Yes, I realize if you have been married for fifty years, but I am in no rush to get to that state.

Even though these goals seem very complex and very hard to reach, I'm a very simple girl. At least my goal isn't to end world hunger.

November 14, 2010

Update on Max

Yes, I realize I just posted a lot on Max last night but I feel like I should keep everyone updated.

Today I went to go see Max and he did look worse. When he gets up from lying down he doesn't stand on his right back foot at all, and when he has to itch his left leg, he can barley do it. If an alpaca has an itch on its left back leg, he or she will itch it with their right back leg. I wanted to bad to itch it for him but I knew he would walk off as soon as I tried to touch him. Even though I do have, well what I think is, a great bond with Max, alpacas don't like to be petted and like their space.

I did sit down with Max for a few minutes today while he was munching on his hay and I just looked at him and fed him what I call the "good stuff", its actually the hay chaff that settles on the bottom of the hay feeders. Max just LOVES the hay chaff.

My Grandmother is even more convinced that it's not arthritis and so isn't every one else. I won't be able to see Max before the 18th, but I made my Aunt promise not to put him down unless I can be there. I have school off on the 19th, so if they decide to put him down then they could do it the next day.

There is one song I have been listening to since last night. It is:

How Can I Help You To Say Goodbye

My Mom and Grandmother have helped me so much with the preparation, if you can call it that, of the possibility of Max being put down.

Four more days, four more days of Max suffering, I hope this isn't prolonged.

I love you Maxy Max.

Day 12-What you believe

Since yesterday was such a depressing night for me, and last nights post was to make up for the night before when I didn't get home from work before 12, tonight I have to make two posts and I will probably due a third with an update on Max.

So, what do I believe in?

I believe that you should never regret something that once made you smile. This is one belief that has helped me in so many ways. Weather it be break ups, family problems, or just with life difficulties in general. I am willing to bet it is so true for most people that when they date a person and then break up, he or she goes through a period or periods of times where they can't believe they dated that person, for what ever reason. I have found that downing yourself like this can make the "recovery" be prolonged. When ever I feel this way about anything I ask myself or try to think of times to see if I smiled when ever this situation was happening, if the answer is "yes" then I don't regret it and I don't question myself, because if it made me happy of COURSE that is why I did it.

I remember when my Grandfather passed away. He had a major stroke and was taken to the ER via ambulance and was non-responsive. They put him on a life support while my family talked about weather they would keep him on life support or take him off. I saw they because I wasn't old enough to really have a say or to understand. The family decided that my Grandfather told everyone not to put him on life support, so they had the doctors take him off. The doctors said that he could pass away from a few minutes after being taken off or days.

My mom gave my sisters and I the option to either stay at the hospital for the night or we could go home and go to school, or just go home and skip school. I told her I wanted to go home and would decide on school in the morning. The next morning I did end up going to school and believe it or not there were times that I didn't think of my dying Grandfather and just had some fun, like in gym. Actually, in gym I was enjoying chucking balls at the preppy girls to hear them scream, so that brought me much happiness and smiles, I'm evil I know it!

So I got home after school and waited for my mom to pick me up to bring me to the hospital to say good-bye a final time to my Grandfather. I didn't say it the night before because I was too scared. So my Mom came home with flowers, but I didn't associate that with my Grandfather passing away. About 30 minutes later my Mom finally told me upfront that he had passed away and I was devastated. I felt so selfish for deciding to go to school and actually have FUN while the rest of my family was watching over my Grandfather. This guilt weighed on me for years, until I finally got some closure when my Aunt invited a median into her home.

I know not everyone believes in medians but I decided to give it ago, I had some questions and thought it would bring me some closure. My ultimate question was if my Grandfather thought of me as selfish for going to school and enjoying myself and the medium said no he didn't think that. I realize that most people would say this but it did bring me closure.

Later in the years I found this quote and it helped me over come that last bit of healing. I realized that on that day I was at school I smiled a bunch, so I couldn't regret doing it.

No, this isn't an easy thing to believe in, but in those desperate times it helps so much.

Day 11-Favorite tv shows

Growing up I was a HUGE fan of RugRats! I can remember coming off the bus to my babysitters and asking right away to turn on that show. Most of the time when I got into her house she was watching soap operahs *YUCK*!

Now a days my favorite TV shows are NCIS, Law and Order SVU, and many animal planet shows.
I started getting hooked onto NCIS a few years ago and my obsession just blew out of proportion when USA started airing the show every day! My mom would, and still does get so tired when we watch a show that I have seen at least a dozen times, but then again she doesn't seem to care if I complain if we watch her show that we all have seen numerous times. Funny how the world works huh!!

Not sure how to really elaborate on this so I guess this is it haha!

November 13, 2010


I'm not sure how many people know about Max, but he is an alpaca gielding that my Aunt and Uncle owns. I'm unsure of his age but he cannot be more than 10 years old. Over the past few months Max has been getting progressively more and more lame (for those horsey people reading my blog). He is now at the point and has been for a while where he can't even go out to pasture without a shot on banamine, which is a pain killer and anti-inflammatory.

On the 18th Max has a vet appointment and that day will decide what will happen next. Our options are to try bute (horsey product), an arthritis herbal mix, or putting him down. The bute and herbal mix will work if what is wrong with Max is mostly arthritis, but I was watching him today walk around after getting his shot and it looks like a joint problem, like as if he did something to his disk Also his butt is much more curved than it should be. It is curved under his body which makes me also think maybe some kind of spinal injury.

Max is my favorite alpaca in the whole herd. He was apart of the original 13 my Aunt and Uncle bought. He had a rough time a few years back because another male alpaca mounted him and had him pinned to the ground in an awkward position for a long time before my Uncle went down to do chores and saw what was going on. Since then Max has gotten worse. During the winters is when his arthrisits really kicked in and I started preparing last winter knowing he might not make it through the winter.

Please, no one get me wrong, I love Max SO MUCH, but a part of me hopes the vet, who happens to be a great friend of mine and my Aunt and Uncle's, decides that putting Max down will be the best option. Knowing what Max use to do as an alpaca, running and playing, to seeing him struggle just to get to the hay feeders breaks my heart every time.

Today while at the barn I sat next to Max and brought some hay over for him to eat. I also scratched his sweet spot which is under his chin and while doing this he looked at me in a certain way that I can't explain and I just lost it. He looks so tired of the pain and just tired in general.

Everyone has been telling me to prepare for the possibility of saying good bye and a part of me is ready but a part of me just wants to hold on.

I remeber when we had to put down a baby alpaca because he was born blind and had major respritory problems. The first time I ever saw him was when he was put down and I can't believe how much I cried that day, I can't imagine how I'm going to react to the day we have to put Max down. Weather it is soon or months or years down the road.

I have delt with pets dying. My dog, Ginger, died when I was in junior high after we had her since I was a baby, but I wasn't home when she died and I didn't know until a few days after. So I have been around death and I know it happens and has to happen, but it never makes it any easier.

Max, taken last year either during the winter or spring. 
 I love you Max, no matter what happens.

Day 10-Something you’re afraid of

There are many things I'm afraid of, but there are a few things that I am very afraid of.
Those are:
1. Marrying a person I don't love. Believe it or not I dream of this from time to time. Most of the time its a dream of someone having to convince me of walking down the aisle even when I know I shouldn't.
2. Growing old and not being able to do anything. I realize growing old and dieing is apart of life and I fully accept that. What I can't seem to accept is walking around at an agonizing pace and not being able to do things myself.

Sorry for this really short post, I have another post coming up that will explain why I really don't feel like doing this challenge today.

November 11, 2010

Day 9-A picture of your friends

Oh my word what a fun post this is going to be!

*NOTE* lots of pictures!

Well lets start off with my BEST FRIEND in the whole wide world! YES you know who I am talking about. The girl that has always been there for my all through my 19 years of living, LITERALLY!
TIA, DUH! (on the left, I'm on the right). I don't know what to say that hasn't already been said. She shares all the same passions as me in a round about way and we don't let anything happen to each other.

This is a picture of Maggie and I at a horse show this summer. Don't ask I have NO IDEA what I was doing when this picture was taken. Maggie has been a close friend through elementary school but we became much closer when I found that she rode and use to work at the barn that I was working at. I was really singing *It's a small world after all*

Now everything so far has been some how related to horses, well here is a new species...ALPACAS! This is most of the ACONE (Alpaca Center of New England) group along with the kids! From left to right it is Lydia, Tia, Me, Evelyn, Dianne (Evelyn and Lyidia's WONDERFUL mother), Connie (my Aunt), and Corry. The picture is missing Red (my Uncle), Matt (Diane's husband), Robin, and Diane's and Matt's twins Abby and Sarah. YES a big group of people, but like family!

I have lots of friends and I wish I could post pictures of them all! But I realize that would be very unrealistic. So here are my other great friends and if I miss you I am terribly sorry! Kirstin C., Erin H., Kait S., and all my Young Marine friends (SEMPER FI GUYS!) and JILL!!

Oh let me tell you about Jill! I have worked with her since last year in March and I don't think I have met a more caring and loving person! She made me fit right in at work and she always made it that more enjoyable! Jilly I love you so much!

Growing up I wasn't too concerned about friends, in my eyes friends equaled drama, espically in high school and I could NOT stand drama. I also didn't mind that I didn't have a lot of friends, I had my family and the people that really mattered in my life and that is all I needed.

But with the less friends I have, the more love I can give to them!

Day 8-A place you’ve traveled to

Oh the places I have traveled to! Well I guess some of the most enjoyable memories have been in my family trips to Florida. If you guys haven't figured it out yet, I am not only a super big horse fan, but I am a big believer in family! The family that I do have is close and dear to my heart. I would rather spend time with my family around a home cooked meal rather than go out with friends. One of my greatest memories in Florida was last year when my two sisters, my mom, my grandmother, and myself drove down to Fort Myers Beach. We rented a nice house across the road from the beach for two weeks.
This is a picture of my mom and I para-sailing near Fort Myers Beach. It was such a fun ride! You can hear about some of the Florida adventures by going to
Florida Vacation Post 1
Last Night in Florida

This is a sad sad short post :( Good thing I have to make up another one since I missed last nights!

November 9, 2010

Drill Team/Life

Drill Team
So today Tia and I had a lesson, with another one of my friends S. S. rode Nannie, I rode Ranger (no surprise there), and Tia rode Oreo. At first I thought it was just another normal lesson where I would be able to canter a little bit, but that's not what happened. Today my instructor M. wanted to teach us some drill team maneuvers! I was super excited, given my young marine background I knew all how nice team work and synchronization could work together to make a very nice performance! But let me tell you something, it is not as easy as it seems and it made me realize how much I need to practice on corners, keeping a rhythmic gait, and my transitions. So in other words? I have to work on everything! But I don't mind.

So we did a leap frog exercise, where the last horse in the line would have to pick up her gait at the walk to pass the two horses in front, while keeping 8 feet distance between her and the horse to her side.

Next we practiced, I believe it was side to breast? Please excuse lack of specific and correct terminology! But this is when horses line up side by side and the riders line up the horses by where the pommels are on all of the saddles Again, you had to line up with eight feet in between each horse.

Next we (I forgot the name of this so bear with me as I try to explain) would go up the center of the arena (for the dressage savvey people out there! We traveled from the A to C) in a single file line. The first person would make a 90 degree turn to the left, the next horse would make a 90 degree turn to the right and both would ride to the wall, and make a respective turn and ride up the long sides of the arena by the wall, meet back up at the corners, make their corners again and meet again nose to nose at A, then travel down C in a pair. This was very nice when we got this down! It was no where near perfect and we didn't stay in a straight line but it was fun!

Next we learned how to make an X, which is much harder to explain but the jist of it is that two horses cross the center of the arena one from either side coming in as a V and one crosses first then the next crosses, making an X. This was VERY COOL when we got it right!

We also learned how to do flanks! My Young Marine experience came in very handy here! M. was calling it a "90 degree flank" but I informed her that a flank WAS and was ONLY a 90 degree turn. It was funny.

Overall it was a fun experience and I hope this drill team works out.

Even though this lesson was super fun, I was really expecting to do some canter work today. My goal is to be cantering quiet consistently before my surgery, because I know after my surgery it will be like starting back at square one. Trust me, I've had to do it last year it wasn't fun feeling like a beginner all over again.

Tomorrow is the big Young Marine meeting and I'm so glad that I will be able to voice my opinion about this matter and try to set it straight.

I had a big psychology report due before December 9th (the class doesn't end until December 14th but then again I can't reschedule my operation and my professor doesn't mind as long as I pass in my final). I was going to do service learning, where I had to do twenty hours of community service then write two response papers. Well I was going to do it on the Young Marines, but since this whole thing is going on I guess I'm just going to do a term paper instead.

Also, my dream of becoming a vet is becoming very difficult <.< I don't know why it is but it is. Maybe I'm just making it more difficult than it needs to be. WHO KNOWS!?

But for the most part I really have a nice life, no matter how many crappy posts I make =D

Day 7-Favorite movies

Well this could either be a very super long list or a super short list.

My favorite mostly modern movie has to be "A Walk to Remember", believe it or not it DOES NOT have horses in it! A Walk To Remember is about this guy who gets in trouble with the law who falls in love with this Christian girl, who has leukemia and is ultimately going to die from her disease. It is remarkable how much this girl influences this boy, and even after her telling him not to fall in love with her, he does anyways! Her dad is really against this because he knows that one day he will loose his little girl.

My favorite older movie is Dirty Dancing. The first time I saw that movie is when I was camping up north with my grandfather. He has a camper up there, but he has a TV that has like three channels that come in on a good day but he had a ton of taped movies. It was pouring out one day and we found that movie and put it in. Lets just say I was just old enough to realize how GORGEOUS Patrick Swazye was and as a consequence I watched that  movie at least a hundred times that summer! And that is no way an exaggeration. So as I grew up the Dirty Dancing movie was kind of a camp ritual and was watched every night when we would go up.

Since this IS a horse blog I should mention my favorite horse movie, which would have to be Flicka. I know not very original but that movie had my perfect life in mind. I do not regret my life, and I wouldn't change anything for the world. But, when I look at that movie everything in there is how I wish I could of had it. Horses, a big ranch, wide open spaces, a father who really cared. It just seemed like a great and perfect life, but then again thats what movies are all about xD

Gah another short blog! Going to have to make a enormous blog or two to make up for this!

November 8, 2010

Day 6-A picture of something that makes you happy

Well, there are so many things that make me happy in life, its so hard to pick just one thing. But I guess at this point in my life the one thing that brings the most happiness to my life is

Ranger and I at our first show!
One of Ranger's many personalities.

RANGER! No surprise there for people who know me! Ranger has not only taught me so much about horses and riding, he has been my best bud through it all. He also puts up with my inexperience and for the most part lets me make my mistakes and he doesn't give me too much of an attitude.

The first photo is from my first horse show ever and Ranger's first horse show in many years. I can not say that this show went perfectly, there was a time that I was ready to give up and just sit out the rest of my shows. Ranger had gotten very skittish and spooky and it worried, espically when he won't let me mount on top of him. He always stood nice and calm but at that show he wasn't about to stand still. When I finally got on top of him he was very questionable about everything and wasn't listening very well. Who knows I was probably sending mixed messages also because I was so nervous myself. So I got on him and headed towards the warm up ring. We had a good 15 minutes until our show but I got him in that ring along with some other horses from the barn and I worked him. I didn't stop working when he started listening to me, I kept him working up until our show was up. By this time he was very calm and he was the old man that I so much adore! He taught me that day that even if I'm very scared and nervous I can't back down because I can do it!

The second picture is of Ranger on the cross ties. That day was very funny. He wasn't about to give me the opportunity to take a nice picture of him so he always had his "dumb face" on. Here he was yawning and I found it so funny. Ranger is constantly making me laugh and smile. He has helped me through two break-ups, school stress, and numerous family issues. I'm not sure where I would be without Ranger, but I do know I wouldn't be where I am today.

This is what Ranger looks like when he wants to stand nice for me :) 
Note: A girl at the barn had to walk buy and throw her hands up and go "HEY RANGER!" in order to get this =D

November 7, 2010

Anger, adventure, life.

So I am so behind behind in my word count! I should be doing at least 1,666 words A DAY! So I guess I can torture the little readers I do have into hearing about my life recently!

Lets start with anger.

Since 2002 I have (well had I am no longer apart of) been apart of a program called the Young Marines. The Young Marines is an orgainzation similar to the Boys and Girls scouts. Except the YM (young marines) teach kids 8-18 years old about the military, respect, family, commitment, and staying off drugs, and really so much more. I joined this program and excelled and ended up becoming "top dog" which means I was the highest rank (besides the Commander and Executive Officer of course) and I loved it! I not only loved being in charge, but I loved the challenge and the fact that many people looked up to me as a leader.

So I was honorably discharged along with my twin back in September because we were 18 years old and graduated from high school back in June.

Now recently I have learned that my Commading Officer who I had looked up to for eight years and had been commandering officer of FOURTEEN years was no longer the Commanding Officer, and he did not leave on his own accord. There is way to much heresay to get into details and it boils me every time I get into depth. So to sum it up there are three power hungry people that decided they want to back stab the Commanding Officer so Commander was "relieved of his duties" until this is sorted out. I was raging! How could this amazing guy after putting fourteen years into a program be relieved of his duties when everything is misconstrued and no one knows the truth! What gets me even more is that one of those people that stabbed him in back was elected UNOFFICIALLY the new Commanding Officer. Well lets just say, I may not be in the program anymore but I am NOT going to have that! I am going to a meeting on Wednesday and stating my opinion and going to demand an official election.

So now on to the adventure before I get too wound up!

Today my mom got four big dump truck loads full of sand delivered to our house because she is going to build a garage in a few years! These piles are huge and we have to level them all out.
Well I was goign to upload picture but apparently blogger hates me tonight!
So we were leveling the dirt and my little cocker spaniel X dashound mix Louie decided that he thought the dirt was like snow and that I was tossing the dirt with a shovel for him to chase. There was one time I hit the poor guy with a spade, but did it teach him anything? No haha! So that was a complete riot and now he is laying on my bed sound asleep and SO CUTE!!! (picture of him sleeping later also!)

Now for the life section.

I LOVE snow, winter, and the cold. I love everything about it and I love to snow board. But I guess yet again this winter I won't be able to enjoy it. I'm having surgery on my foot on December 10th. There is a blurp of whats wrong in my post below on day one in my fifteen interesting facts about myself. I'm glad to get this problem fixed but I hate being on crutches, espically during my favorite season. So please excuse me if you get depressing updates and lots of complaining. The best part?? Two days after my surgery (surgery is on a Friday, so Sunday) we have our huge family Christmas party! Do you know what I generally do on the third day after surgery? SLEEP! So I guess as long as I can have a bed to retreat to through out the day I will be fine, but not looking forward to explaining what happened to me like thirty times. I should just make a paper and make a ton of copies and just hand them out as people arrive!

Sounds like a plan!

Day 5 - Your Sibling(s)

Oh what a topic!! Well I have two sisters. One is my older sister who is a year older than me then I have my twin.

My older sister and I never got along, at all. We were complete enemies growing up and I will admit I started lots of it. I was a super cruel kid and loved picking on her any chance I got. Weather I got pleasure out of seeing her cry, I’m not sure.  As we got older we went from virbal to physical. Well, I had no chance of standing up to my sister who was taller and out-weighed me. So when she came charging I took advantage to my cross-country athletics and RAN! I am glad I ran away and was never ashamed of it. I knew I couldn’t win against her and I wasn’t the one for physical violence.

My twin? Oh oh what a relationship there! Tia and I were and are best friends! No, we can’t read each others minds but we can finish each others sentences and have the same idea at the same time. Sure, Tia and I fought, but it was the funniest thing. Well quick history, we shared rooms until we were 18 and I moved into my older sister’s room. When Tia and I were cleaning our room at the same time we would argue over whose clothes were on who’s bed! FOR REAL! So it would start to just smoothly putting said piece of clothing on the other’s bed, and the other twin would do the same thing with same said piece of clothing. Next it would escalate to throwing the clothing and one a few occasions we would shove each other. Then we would get to a high climax and just start LAUGHING at each other. We could never stay mad for very long, even if it was something big.  I am so glad I had someone in my life like this, it sure made life much more interesting!

November 6, 2010

Day 4-Your parents

I may sometimes mention my mom in my posts but I wouldn't be surprised if I haven't mentioned my dad at all.

Well to start off, my parents were never married. When I was under a year old my mom left my father for really good reasons. I grew up being very use to the idea of not having parents that lived together and to be honest I thought it was normal. When I was in first grade I heard about a girl who's father had died so she had no one to give anything to on father's day. I felt so sad for her, at least I had a father.

As part of a mutual agreement between my father and my mom it was required that my sisters and I were to see my dad every other weekend. I can't say I always enjoyed this. I loved my dad dearly and he was my hero, but I would get very home sick. And it is funny, I would be fine until one of my sisters got home sick, then it was just a downhill battle.

My dad ended up marrying another woman and she had a daughter from a previous relationship. At first I was super excited about this new lady and everything seemed great. Until I started going to my dad's house and finding that my room had been trashed by my step-sister while I was away. My twin and I shared a room while my older sister and my step sister shared a room. So even though that room was spot cleaned before we left to go home, it was just as dirty, if not dirtier, when we went back. You know who had to clean it right? Me and my twin. It made no sense and it infuriated me. My step-sister got away with so much while I couldn't breath wrong and get away with it.

But it didn't just stop with my step sister, my new step-mom would complain about how my mother raised me and when we were like 11 and 12 and watching pg13 movies and it just went on and on. There were numerous times I went home and cried when I saw my mom.

Eventually the relationships just went down hill from there and my dad stopped contacting me and my sisters. There were also other reasons that I do not care to mention.

SO, needless to say I have not spoken to my dad in 8, going on 9, years.

But thats enough of that sad stuff, here is the good stuff! MY MOM!!!

My mom is has been and will forever be my hero! She raised three kids by herself, all of them being born within a year of each other, AND we are all girls! I am pretty sure it can't get more difficult more that!

I will admit, my mom didn't always do things right, and of course I knew it all! I mean what teenager doesn't?! I will also admit that I didn't always appreciate my mom like I do today. I cannot imagine going through what she did, but she did do it and no love is more pure than that. My mom has always supported me in everything I did. From young marines to alpaca showing to the horses. Yes she may not go to every lesson I go to and she might not watch me ride as often as I would like her too, but she always asks me how it went and she always listens to my sometimes over elaborated stories.

So there you have it! My parents. Thanks for reading!

Day 3-Your first love

Well today is actually day four, but don't worry day four post is coming too :)

My first love, believe it or not was NOT Ranger. SHOCKING I know!

Above is my first love! His name is Max. Max is apart of the original thirteen alpacas that my Aunt and Uncle bought. He is around nine years old (alpacas live to be fifteen to twenty). When we bought the alpacas at first Max was just another alpaca and I did not pay particular amounts of attention to him. But one day in the old barn I was doing chores and he let me rub him underneath his chin. Alpacas do not generally like to be petted espically around their heads. I was so shocked and he seemed to enjoy it. 

A year or so later when we moved into the new barn, Max ended up getting really hurt by another alpaca named Granito, who has little man syndrome. Max is a gielding if I did not mention before. Max had gotten mounted and pinned down in the bottom pasture away from the barn. In order to get back to the barn you have to climb a decently steep hill. My Uncle saw what was going on and got Granito off of Max and Max got up. We weren't sure how long Granito had Max pinned down but Max has arthritis in his hips so even if it wasn't for very long, Max would have suffered from lots of pain anyways. It ended up my Uncle pretty much had to carry Max back up the hill. 

I'm not sure how many days after (I believe it was the next day) that I went to the alpaca farm and saw Max, but it was really hard to see him the way he was. He had a super green neck (from Granito's spit) and his eyes looked so painful. I sat down besides Max and he naturally leaned away from me. He couldn't get up to walk away. I just sat there talking to him gently and then I reached for his spot under his chin that he liked scratched. Max seemed to relax and then that's when I realized how much I cared for Max. Next I got up to get some paper towels to clean Max's neck off. This was probably more for me, but I like to think Max appreciated it also. So after many paper towels I finally got Max's neck to where there was only a tint of green. By this time I was pretty much inches away from Max and he didn't seem to mind.

Ever since then Max has been my love. Yes, I share my love with Ranger also, but Max was certainly my first love.

November 4, 2010

Day 2-Meaning behind your blog name

This is surprisingly is going to be a simple and easy post :)

I had wanted something a blog name that was pretty original and yet was welcoming to other people. I began by thinking of things I really enjoyed as a kid and maybe something most kids enjoyed growing up, and then I thought of Toys R Us! I'm not sure if this is just a Maine store or not but I remember as a child LOVING to be able to go to Toys R Us, usually because we only went once a year. So then I got to thinking, again, how to make it original and catchy. Like the "R" in Toys R Us is backwards. So since I couldn't make my "r" backwards I decided to change the "s" in horses to a "z". See EASY! Now people don't visit my blog because they forget it is a "z" not an "s" xD

Really hope I have some more interesting posts for my few readers!

Thanks for reading :)

November 3, 2010

30 Day Challenge! Day 1

So I borrowed this Challenge piece from my friend Erin from NowTHATSaTrot, and she borrowed it from Hydrant Girl (give credit where credit is due!) I have been pretty inactive in my blog but I hope this 30 day challenge will change that and hopefully I will get some more readers!

Day 1-Introduction, recent picture, 15 interesting facts
Day 2-Meaning behind your blog name
Day 3-Your first love
Day 4-Your parents
Day 5-Your siblings
Day 6-A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 7-Favorite movies
Day 8-A place you’ve traveled to
Day 9-A picture of your friends
Day 10-Something you’re afraid of
Day 11-Favorite tv shows
Day 12-What you believe
Day 13-Goals
Day 14-A picture you love
Day 15-Bible verse
Day 16-Dream house
Day 17-Something you’re looking forward to
Day 18-Something you regret
Day 19-Something you miss
Day 20-Nicknames
Day 21-Picture of yourself
Day 22-Favorite city
Day 23-Favorite vacation
Day 24-Something you’ve learned
Day 25-Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs
Day 26-Picture of your family
Day 27-Pets
Day 28-Something that stresses you out
Day 29-3 Wishes
Day 30-a picture

So Day 1: Introduction, recent picture, 15 interesting facts
Hey, I am Stasha. I am 19 years old and I live in Maine. I love the outdoors and my family. Currently I have been riding horses regularly for a year now. I also worked at the horse barn that I rode at for a year, but as life happens I needed to move on to another job and my schooling. Since 6th grade I had always dreamed about coming a pharmacist, like my Aunt, but after many days of deliberating and really looking at myself I realized how crazy I would go working inside everyday. So what am I going to do? VET SCHOOL! I have four main life focuses in life. And in order of priorities, family, school, alpacas and horses (alpacas and horses are in a tie for 3rd and 4th I can't possibly place one over the other). My Aunt and Uncle have owned alpacas for 5 years roughly now. They are up to 52 alpacas in the herd. When I get older I dream to own alpacas and horses and be a vet! 

This picture is from three days ago. I love crocheting and I am trying to sell this hat :)

Now for 15 interesting facts, err pardon me they might not be THAT interesting just bear with me!
1) I'm a...TWIN! My twin sister Tia is my best friend IN THE WORLD! No we do not have twin telepathy even though from time to time we do finish each other's sentences.

2) I have lived in Maine all my life and love this amazing state! Even though I have such an urge to go out and see the states, my family is here, and I could never leave forever.

3) I have two dogs and a cat. Louie and Sissy are cocker spaniel X dash hound mixes and my cat is named Jasmine. We rescued my two dogs after they were thrown from a car on a lady's yard. Sissy broke her elbow in consequence of this and you can tell they were abused but they have come such a long way!

4) I am very unlike girls my age. I am very independent and mature for my age (this coming from other people not my quotes haha). In high school I didn't put up with drama which came across as me being a b**** which was never my intentions but I'm glad people left me alone because I could focus on my schooling more.  

5) Family is my LIFE! I wasn't always this way though. I cannot really pinpoint of when I realized how important family was, it was around when my dad walked out. Due to this I became really close to my Uncle, who became the father I lost, even though I knew he could never replace him.

6) I have had 4, going on 5 on December 10th, surgeries and all on my feet. No it wasn't a horse accident that caused this, even though that would make for a much interesting story, I was born with very high arches. The problem started off in 4th grade when I wanted to get down to recess to grab the swings first (because if you got the swings you were COOL!) and so in order to do that I needed to get down four flights of stairs faster than anyone else! I was on a mission here!! So I jumped down a FULL flight of stairs..consisting of 8 stairs or so, and I landed wrong on my foot and ended up breaking the growth plate in my right foot. Since that part in my life I had started spraining my ankles on a regular basis and my hips started hurting. After two doctors I finally saw a specialist who found out my problem from one walk down the hall way and I was put into orthodics for my shoes. Those worked up until my eigth grade year, when my hip started hurting again and I was spraining my ankles again.  So my old specialist moved out of the state so I saw another one who opted for surgery. We decided on the less extensive surgery which consisted of cutting and lengthening my arch, lengthening my Achilles tendon, and re-rooting my big toe tendon. That worked for a few months until after I started walking more and my ankle would keep popping out of place, come to find out my tendons in my ankle were now like spaghetti after being stretched all those years, so the doctor went and shortened all the tendons and had to put a graph to hold the tendons there. After six months or so the graph popped out of place and it was back to put a new one in. After another six months it seemed like my right foot was FINALLY fixed. So we went to the left, and decided to do some bone breaking instead. So we broke the top of my foot, lowered my arch, cut the arch muscle, and put a screw in my foot. WORKED WONDERS! Now my right foot is going to get the same treatment because I find that if I work all day I almost can not walk the next morning. (Hope your still reading and not bored out of your mind!)

7) My Aunt and Uncle own alpacas, and have for 5 years roughly.

8) I am utterly in love with a horse named Ranger. He is a 25+ year old Morgan Quarter Horse cross. He has stolen my heart and has taught me so much.

9) My Mom is my hero. She raised THREE teenage girls who were one year apart in age!

10) My grandparents live right next door to me which is the best thing in the world! I think all kids should live next to their grandparents.

11) Technically, I'm not suppose to be alive. I was born 2 months early along with my twin and I wasn't breathing when I was born and spent most of my first year of life in ICU or in a hospital. Even after going home I would break out in random high temperatures and it was back to the hospital.

12) I was apart of a program called the Young Marines for eight years! I joined in 2002 after I was desperately looking for something to do in my free time and there was NO WAY I was goign to be a girl scout and wear a skirt. You would have to kill me first. So I joined the Young Marines, my twin right beside me. I graduated out of boot camp second best and skipped a rank. After eight years or hard dedication I rose to be the leader of the company and made it to First Sgt. 

13) I am super clumsy!! I have "accidently purposefully" tripped myself. It was very funny. I was telling my friend how funny it would be if I tripped in front of the cafeteria door and was just going to pretend to trip over my foot but my foot ended up getting wedged underneath my other foot and so I actually did trip myself xD

14) After being on crutches for uncounted days, I am more stable and more talented on crutches then I am on my own two feet. I can do almost anything on crutches xD

15) I am in no way shape or form a girly girl! I have JUST STARTED actually taking care of my hair and wearing eye liner! I very much dislike ditsyness. I was the kid in school that enjoyed chucking balls at girls in high school gym to hear them scream like babies xD